Original Publication Information:
Suedomsa the Magazine March 1998 Volume One, Issue
Eight
Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? by Matt Sorvillo
"Girls are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken, and the rest
are all handicapped."
Is this the truth? Is this supposed to comfort me? This is something
I've heard from guys time and again when our conversation turns to topic
of women who have done us wrong. And while I give it credit for being
witty, it isn't a philosophy to which I subscribe. Yet what alternative
is there? When I write an article describing the torment I've endured at
the hands of some pretty ruthless girls, the response I get is less than
sympathetic. People tell me that they've even been offended by it.
(Well, hot damn, should I apologize? How do you think I feel?)
I realize that everyone must go through trials and tribulations in order
to find love. And I don't think I'm the only person who has ever been
cheated on, dumped or heart broken. I'm just telling my story to see if
anyone can relate. And maybe to let some people see things from a
different perspective. I hate getting the old, "maybe we should just be
friends" or the ever popular, "I just don't think of you that way." And
I'm not trying to tell the greatest sob story ever told. I don't want to
outdo your stories of grief and woe. I'm trying to find some common
ground that everyone can stand on. I'd love to hear about your past
heartaches. (Hey, misery loves company, right?) Unfortunately, I'm the
only one of us that has a column in a local magazine. (Granted, it's a
tiny magazine, but it's not the size that counts.) I really just wish
people would stop looking at the struggle for love as an "us vs. them"
scenario. Maybe then it wouldn't be so much of a struggle.
I refuse to let my past heartache ruin me for the girl I know is out
there. I won't build up a wall around myself so that I will never get
hurt again. I hate the guys I know who have a defense mechanism where
they intentionally hurt a girl just in order to keep her submissive, and
keep her from hurting them. That is so weak. I refuse to have my spirits
crushed by the cruel juggernaught, which is the dating scene. I'm gonna
stick it out. Yes, it may be easier to launch insults like missiles from
a safe distance in order to protect myself. But I'd rather stay in the
trenches, suffering the slings and arrows that will inevitably come my
way, just so that when I do find the love I've been searching for, it will
be all the sweeter. (Perhaps I watched too many cartoons as a child but
the G.I.Joe theme song is running through my head. I'll never give up,
I'll stay 'til the fight's won!)
And girls, don't let yourself get too emotionally connected to a guy who
refuses to commit to you. There are really guys who would love to commit
if given half a chance. There is still a rogue band of "good guys" out
there just trying to make heads or tails of a confusing yet integral part
of life, namely girls. You've just gotta keep trying, despite the barrage
of crap you'll have to put up with. And always endure without ever
compromising your principles, settling for less, or turning into one of
the "bad" people that have been so frequently mentioned.
Personally, I just hope maybe one day I'll meet a girl who will appreciate
my efforts to "stay sweet" like the term so often inscribed in my high
school yearbook. I'm not trying to make enemies, I'm trying to show that
there is still hope for the girl who feels like giving up on ever finding
a mate. I'm not trying to be a martyr, I'm trying to be a champion of a
cause. It's my hope that my story might get people talking about these
problems we all have. I would love it if a girl began to appreciate the
efforts of one of us love struck fools, after seeing what it's like from
the other side of the greeting card. And perhaps someday I will succeed
in my goal of making someone I truly care about as happy as I possibly
can. Until then, the battle rages on, and I'm armed with only my wits and
a single red rose.
